It so happened that the duty to preserve the family hearth lies with the woman, but sometimes it is not easy to do this. Of course, both partners are always to blame for quarrels in the family, but there are times when it seems to us that the husband simply does not hear the words addressed to him. Then the question arises of how to find a common language with your husband in order to reduce the number of cases of misunderstanding, because most conflicts occur precisely for this reason.
How to find a common language with a man?
Before thinking about the answer to this question, you need to understand what it means to find a common language. Of course, this is not about a language barrier, it’s about the inability to express one’s thoughts in an accessible way for a partner. The fact is that the male and female types of thinking are different, therefore, where we see the usual request, the man distinguishes between annoying pestering. It turns out that in order to find a common language with a husband, ex-boyfriend, any man, you need to understand how he sees the situation, literally look at the situation that worries you through his eyes. Let’s take a look at some of the most common cases of a different view of things as an example.
- I can do everything myself. Modern women are increasingly striving for absolute independence, and they are doing it well, but for family life, an excess of this quality may be unacceptable. A man may perceive this behavior as an attempt to push him away, even if the woman just wanted to make his life a little easier. In such a situation, the husband feels his uselessness, not understanding the point of being around if she tries to move away from him every time.
- The husband is the head of the family. This is another extreme, which women often fall into. Of course, in many matters it is the representatives of the stronger sex who make the final decision, but this does not mean that this should always be the case. A wife may think that giving her husband carte blanche in resolving all issues gives him confidence, and he perceives this as a desire to make him the only one responsible for the life of the family.
- Talk to the point. Often quarrels arise due to the fact that a woman feels a lack of attention to her words. In principle, this is true, it is very difficult for men to follow several lines of conversation, which ladies often sin. So if you need to solve a problem, get to the point and stop mentioning minor details like your friend’s new shoes and the awesome black cat that ran across your path.
- Without hints. The male brain processes incoming information differently than the female one, because of this, finding a common language with her husband can be very difficult. A wife can ask her husband for something for hours to do around the house and marvel at his inaction when he simply does not understand why it needs to be done immediately. So if you want to achieve something from a man, clearly and distinctly explain what needs to be done and when. But the wording “could you …” and “I would like …” are best left for less important cases.
As you can see, most often, the cause of misunderstanding is precisely the difference between male and female thinking. Therefore, when communicating with a man, it is imperative to take this feature into account. And instead of worrying about the lack of attention from her husband, just tell him about it directly, without any hints.