how to get along with your husband

It so hap­pened that the duty to pre­serve the fam­i­ly hearth lies with the woman, but some­times it is not easy to do this. Of course, both part­ners are always to blame for quar­rels in the fam­i­ly, but there are times when it seems to us that the hus­band sim­ply does not hear the words addressed to him. Then the ques­tion aris­es of how to find a com­mon lan­guage with your hus­band in order to reduce the num­ber of cas­es of mis­un­der­stand­ing, because most con­flicts occur pre­cise­ly for this rea­son.

How to find a common language with a man?

Before think­ing about the answer to this ques­tion, you need to under­stand what it means to find a com­mon lan­guage. Of course, this is not about a lan­guage bar­ri­er, it’s about the inabil­i­ty to express one’s thoughts in an acces­si­ble way for a part­ner. The fact is that the male and female types of think­ing are dif­fer­ent, there­fore, where we see the usu­al request, the man dis­tin­guish­es between annoy­ing pes­ter­ing. It turns out that in order to find a com­mon lan­guage with a hus­band, ex-boyfriend, any man, you need to under­stand how he sees the sit­u­a­tion, lit­er­al­ly look at the sit­u­a­tion that wor­ries you through his eyes. Let’s take a look at some of the most com­mon cas­es of a dif­fer­ent view of things as an exam­ple.

  1. I can do every­thing myself. Mod­ern women are increas­ing­ly striv­ing for absolute inde­pen­dence, and they are doing it well, but for fam­i­ly life, an excess of this qual­i­ty may be unac­cept­able. A man may per­ceive this behav­ior as an attempt to push him away, even if the woman just want­ed to make his life a lit­tle eas­i­er. In such a sit­u­a­tion, the hus­band feels his use­less­ness, not under­stand­ing the point of being around if she tries to move away from him every time.
  2. The hus­band is the head of the fam­i­ly. This is anoth­er extreme, which women often fall into. Of course, in many mat­ters it is the rep­re­sen­ta­tives of the stronger sex who make the final deci­sion, but this does not mean that this should always be the case. A wife may think that giv­ing her hus­band carte blanche in resolv­ing all issues gives him con­fi­dence, and he per­ceives this as a desire to make him the only one respon­si­ble for the life of the fam­i­ly.
  3. Talk to the point. Often quar­rels arise due to the fact that a woman feels a lack of atten­tion to her words. In prin­ci­ple, this is true, it is very dif­fi­cult for men to fol­low sev­er­al lines of con­ver­sa­tion, which ladies often sin. So if you need to solve a prob­lem, get to the point and stop men­tion­ing minor details like your friend’s new shoes and the awe­some black cat that ran across your path.
  4. With­out hints. The male brain process­es incom­ing infor­ma­tion dif­fer­ent­ly than the female one, because of this, find­ing a com­mon lan­guage with her hus­band can be very dif­fi­cult. A wife can ask her hus­band for some­thing for hours how to find a common languageto do around the house and mar­vel at his inac­tion when he sim­ply does not under­stand why it needs to be done imme­di­ate­ly. So if you want to achieve some­thing from a man, clear­ly and dis­tinct­ly explain what needs to be done and when. But the word­ing “could you …” and “I would like …” are best left for less impor­tant cas­es.
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As you can see, most often, the cause of mis­un­der­stand­ing is pre­cise­ly the dif­fer­ence between male and female think­ing. There­fore, when com­mu­ni­cat­ing with a man, it is imper­a­tive to take this fea­ture into account. And instead of wor­ry­ing about the lack of atten­tion from her hus­band, just tell him about it direct­ly, with­out any hints.