The basis of creating a family is often love and harmony, but when people begin to live together, many conflict situations are born. If the spouses are in no hurry to give in to each other, then the points of intersection of their interests lead to quarrels in the family that destroy the family idyll.Causes of quarrels
- Different level of upbringing. If young people were brought up in different social strata, then no later than a year later, the habits of the wife will begin to annoy the husband and vice versa. After all, what one spouse is used to is alien to the other, and even if the husband decides to adapt to his beloved (or vice versa), psychologists assure that such perseverance is only enough for 8–12 months.
- material problems. Each family depends on financial wealth, because. it is necessary to pay for housing, a kindergarten, to purchase things and products, etc., but if there is not enough money for the most necessary things, quarrels are inevitable. In high-income families, other values become a priority — holidays abroad, purchases of yachts or planes, family scandals also arise on the basis of solving these “problems”.
- Various values. The main goal for spouses is not always the same, if it is important for a woman to take her child to music lessons in a timely manner, and a man seeks to visit a football club at this time, then a conflict is inevitable.
- Shattered hopes. If a girl fantasizes for herself an ideal husband who will give flowers every day and bow before her beauty, then after a while her disappointment will have no limit, because. sooner or later, a man will begin to behave in the usual way — either he will forget about theanniversary, or he will ignore the “day of the first kiss”, etc.
How to avoid quarrels in the family?
Many psychologists argue that one must be able to quarrel. That is, if a conflict situation arises in the family, each of the spouses should be able to find ways to resolve the conflict and strive to solve the problem.
If there are constant quarrels in the family, then it is worth finding out their primary cause, this requires a “side view”. For example, you might write down your feelings on the eve of a conflict and respond to questions — what became annoying, what “hooked” the most. Then it is worth discussing all the details of the quarrel with the second half and try to learn how to support each other, and not blame.
What to do if quarrels in the family have a non-specific reason, but are caused by the general fatigue of one or both spouses. In this case, experts recommend joint rest, in no case alone. Since, having rested separately, it is formed in the subconscious — it’s good for one, but it’s bad for the family, so you need to share not only everyday moments of family life, but also plan joint leisure.