The husband does not want children - reasons and tips to help solve the problem

Why a hus­band does not want chil­dren — in each case there are indi­vid­ual rea­sons. It can be all sorts of fears or unwill­ing­ness to take on the respon­si­bil­i­ty of becom­ing a par­ent due to build­ing a career. Some­times a man does not want to become a father at all, decid­ing to live his life the way he wants.

Husband does not want children — reasons

In order to under­stand the rea­sons why a hus­band does not want to have chil­dren, you need to con­sid­er them very close­ly. So, the most com­mon rea­sons are:

  1. He’s like a big kid! This often hap­pens and the name of this phe­nom­e­non is infan­til­ism. More often such a man is spoiled, he is the only child of his par­ents, and all the lau­rels and hon­ors went to him, even as an adult he does not want to share his wife’s atten­tion with any­one.
  2. No con­fi­dence in your soul­mate. This is a case when a wife cheat­ed on her hus­band at least once, he is afraid that the child may not be his, anoth­er moment: the man has lost inter­est in his soul mate and is look­ing towards divorce and mar­riage to anoth­er.
  3. finan­cial rea­son. The hus­band is not strong enough on his feet and earns lit­tle, or his earn­ings depend on sea­son­al­i­ty, are unsta­ble. Men con­sid­er the sit­u­a­tion with a mort­gage to be a good rea­son, when most of the earn­ings go to repay the loan, so the deci­sion to have a child becomes delayed until bet­ter times.
  4. Desire to live for your­self. The hus­band does not want to have chil­dren imme­di­ate­ly after the wed­ding. And this deci­sion may seem sen­si­ble, because the spous­es need to get used to each oth­er for a year or two. It could also be pure self­ish­ness. A heart-to-heart con­ver­sa­tion will help clar­i­fy the hus­band’s reluc­tance to have a child.
  5. Med­ical and psy­cho­log­i­cal rea­sons. A man may hide his inabil­i­ty to have chil­dren, cov­er­ing it up as an unwill­ing­ness to have chil­dren. A seri­ous rea­son may be the pres­ence in the parental fam­i­ly of the hus­band of severe genet­ic or men­tal dis­eases or dis­or­ders in broth­ers or sis­ters, and oth­er close rel­a­tives, a man may decide not to have a child and it will be psy­cho­log­i­cal­ly dif­fi­cult to con­vince him if he has tak­en such respon­si­bil­i­ty not to con­tin­ue the birth .

Why does the husband not want a second child?

In a woman, the need for off­spring is more pro­nounced than in men — this is how her nature is real­ized, the body some­times makes it clear against her will that “I want anoth­er baby.” Why does the hus­band not want chil­dren as much? Where there is one, there is a sec­ond, but no, the hus­band resists, some­times in a tough ulti­ma­tum order. The rea­sons are also dif­fer­ent:

  • the first child is still very small and for a man it is a big stress — again not sleep­ing at night, con­tin­u­ous anx­i­ety;
  • mate­r­i­al respon­si­bil­i­ty falls entire­ly on the shoul­ders of a man, and it becomes a dif­fi­cult test to pro­vide for four fam­i­ly mem­bers at once, includ­ing the man him­self;
  • a hous­ing prob­lem, for exam­ple, a fam­i­ly hud­dles in a one-room apart­ment and there are no prospects for acquir­ing more spa­cious hous­ing in the next few years;
  • the hus­band sim­ply does not like chil­dren, and one child is the lim­it for him.
See also
Rules of conduct in the family

Husband does not want a joint child

When asked why a hus­band does not want chil­dren from his sec­ond wife, it is dif­fi­cult to answer unequiv­o­cal­ly, often if a man has sev­er­al chil­dren left in his first mar­riage, he feels ful­filled in pater­ni­ty. This may be a sense of guilt towards the aban­doned chil­dren, and the fear that he will not be able to help them if oth­er chil­dren appear in the new fam­i­ly. Often these are psy­cho­log­i­cal rea­sons that take time to over­come.

husband does not want a joint child

Husband doesn’t want a baby and I’m pregnant

It hap­pens that a woman has a sit­u­a­tion where a man does not want a child in any way, “and I am preg­nant.” How to be in that case? You need to under­stand that the respon­si­bil­i­ty lies with both and it is not a secret for a woman that the hus­band does not want a child, such things are dis­cussed by the spous­es at the very begin­ning. There­fore, there are sev­er­al options for the devel­op­ment of the sit­u­a­tion:

  1. Right­eous anger of the hus­band at the fact that the respon­si­bil­i­ty of the wife was vio­lat­ed, for exam­ple, the woman decid­ed for two and neglect­ed con­tra­cep­tion, the man feels infringed and “bent in a vise”. A dif­fi­cult sit­u­a­tion that gives rise to dis­trust and cool­ing of rela­tions.
  2. Preg­nan­cy occurred, although the woman was pro­tect­ed. Here, too, devel­op­ment is dif­fer­ent. Hus­band needs time to accept it. For a woman, this is also a test and test of her hus­band’s feel­ings. A lov­ing hus­band will try to accept the sit­u­a­tion over time, but if he insists on an abor­tion, a rea­son to think: is that man near­by?
See also
Wedding bouquets for the bride

How to persuade a husband to have a child?

The hus­band does not want chil­dren, how to per­suade the hus­band to have a child — ques­tions such as cries of despair are often found in var­i­ous forums. The fam­i­ly is a respon­si­bil­i­ty in half, all deci­sions must be made joint­ly and right­ly so. A wise woman will always under­stand her man, give him time and sub­tly lead him to the readi­ness to become a father. Men can’t stand out­right pres­sure and it’s impor­tant to under­stand this.

How to persuade a husband to have a second child?

First you need to iden­ti­fy the rea­son why the faith­ful hus­band does not want a sec­ond child, this must be done tact­ful­ly, with­out strong pres­sure. To encour­age a spouse to have a sec­ond baby, it is impor­tant to fol­low the fol­low­ing rules:

  • men are not led by vio­lent emo­tions, they close, pan­ic and do not hear a woman at such moments, so argu­ments and facts are need­ed why it is worth replen­ish­ing your fam­i­ly;
  • every objec­tion needs a weighty argu­ment;
  • if a man is afraid to lose his wife’s atten­tion again, as was the case with the first baby, it is nec­es­sary to explain that the first expe­ri­ence always requires more con­cen­tra­tion, and there is more wis­dom, there will be enough atten­tion for every­one;
  • if a man is con­cerned about the mate­r­i­al side of the issue, you can sit down and draw up a joint plan for the dis­tri­b­u­tion of funds, in many fam­i­lies the things of the first child remain, so there may be less expens­es;
  • often the hus­band, observ­ing the enthu­si­asm and con­fi­dence of his wife, agrees to become a father again, and an inse­cure wife will not con­vince her hus­band.
how to persuade a husband to have a second child

How to persuade a husband to have a third child?

Where there are two, there are three, but what if: “I want a third child, but my hus­band does not want to.” The mod­ern world requires a per­son to make informed deci­sions and the abil­i­ty to quick­ly adapt to cir­cum­stances. The third child is a seri­ous deci­sion even for those men who con­sid­er them­selves respon­si­ble and lov­ing fathers. All pros and cons must be weighed. It must be a mutu­al deci­sion. Often men agree after the fact, when the wife has already acci­den­tal­ly become preg­nant and even then are hap­py, but it is bet­ter to plan the preg­nan­cy togeth­er.

Husband does not want children — advice from a psychologist

What to do if a man does not want chil­dren? Psy­chol­o­gists advise the fol­low­ing:

  • to moti­vate your hus­band, for exam­ple, to empha­size that he can and knows so much and that he can pass on all this expe­ri­ence to his child;
  • if the rea­son why a man does not want a baby is jeal­ousy, it is impor­tant to let him know that there will be enough atten­tion and love for both;
  • unob­tru­sive­ly peri­od­i­cal­ly com­pli­ment­ing her hus­band that he is the best and most car­ing hus­band in the world and how lucky the future baby is with dad, and he will def­i­nite­ly inher­it the appear­ance from dad;
  • start talk­ing with friends who already have chil­dren, invite them to your place and vis­it them, and if a man has a fear of chil­dren, he will soon dis­si­pate;
  • make it clear to a man that his per­son­al space and a cer­tain free­dom, in which there is a place for friends and fish­ing trips, will remain the same.
See also
Winter wedding - ideas
husband does not want children psychologist's advice

Husband does not want children — priest’s advice

All meth­ods of per­sua­sion have been tried, but the hus­band does not want chil­dren, what to do in this case, the advice of the cler­gy:

  • indulging fears is cow­ardice and dis­trust of God, it is impor­tant to cast aside all doubts and let new life into the world, mar­riage with­out chil­dren is incom­plete;
  • if the hus­band is a believ­er, the task of the wife is to help him strength­en his faith that a child is a gift from God;
  • togeth­er with her hus­band, come to the priest and con­fess what is oppres­sive, why the man is against the child, because the priest is a kind of good psy­chol­o­gist, with­out judg­ment he will find the right word and strength­en the inten­tion.

How to get pregnant if the husband does not want children?

It is nec­es­sary to remem­ber the fol­low­ing thing, that if the hus­band does not want chil­dren at all, it is impor­tant to reck­on with his opin­ion, he has the right to do so. Anoth­er ques­tion: are you on the way with him? All respon­si­bil­i­ty can fall on wom­en’s shoul­ders, and a man, feel­ing used and deceived, can sim­ply leave by slam­ming the door. There­fore, meth­ods such as pierc­ing a con­dom, neglect­ing con­tra­cep­tion, do not always lead to a hap­py end­ing, a long-await­ed preg­nan­cy occurs, but the rela­tion­ship with her hus­band is seri­ous­ly test­ed. But the choice is up to the woman.