Why a husband does not want children — in each case there are individual reasons. It can be all sorts of fears or unwillingness to take on the responsibility of becoming a parent due to building a career. Sometimes a man does not want to become a father at all, deciding to live his life the way he wants.
Husband does not want children — reasons
In order to understand the reasons why a husband does not want to have children, you need to consider them very closely. So, the most common reasons are:
- He’s like a big kid! This often happens and the name of this phenomenon is infantilism. More often such a man is spoiled, he is the only child of his parents, and all the laurels and honors went to him, even as an adult he does not want to share his wife’s attention with anyone.
- No confidence in your soulmate. This is a case when a wife cheated on her husband at least once, he is afraid that the child may not be his, another moment: the man has lost interest in his soul mate and is looking towards divorce and marriage to another.
- financial reason. The husband is not strong enough on his feet and earns little, or his earnings depend on seasonality, are unstable. Men consider the situation with a mortgage to be a good reason, when most of the earnings go to repay the loan, so the decision to have a child becomes delayed until better times.
- Desire to live for yourself. The husband does not want to have children immediately after the wedding. And this decision may seem sensible, because the spouses need to get used to each other for a year or two. It could also be pure selfishness. A heart-to-heart conversation will help clarify the husband’s reluctance to have a child.
- Medical and psychological reasons. A man may hide his inability to have children, covering it up as an unwillingness to have children. A serious reason may be the presence in the parental family of the husband of severe genetic or mental diseases or disorders in brothers or sisters, and other close relatives, a man may decide not to have a child and it will be psychologically difficult to convince him if he has taken such responsibility not to continue the birth .
Why does the husband not want a second child?
In a woman, the need for offspring is more pronounced than in men — this is how her nature is realized, the body sometimes makes it clear against her will that “I want another baby.” Why does the husband not want children as much? Where there is one, there is a second, but no, the husband resists, sometimes in a tough ultimatum order. The reasons are also different:
- the first child is still very small and for a man it is a big stress — again not sleeping at night, continuous anxiety;
- material responsibility falls entirely on the shoulders of a man, and it becomes a difficult test to provide for four family members at once, including the man himself;
- a housing problem, for example, a family huddles in a one-room apartment and there are no prospects for acquiring more spacious housing in the next few years;
- the husband simply does not like children, and one child is the limit for him.
Husband does not want a joint child
When asked why a husband does not want children from his second wife, it is difficult to answer unequivocally, often if a man has several children left in his first marriage, he feels fulfilled in paternity. This may be a sense of guilt towards the abandoned children, and the fear that he will not be able to help them if other children appear in the new family. Often these are psychological reasons that take time to overcome.
Husband doesn’t want a baby and I’m pregnant
It happens that a woman has a situation where a man does not want a child in any way, “and I am pregnant.” How to be in that case? You need to understand that the responsibility lies with both and it is not a secret for a woman that the husband does not want a child, such things are discussed by the spouses at the very beginning. Therefore, there are several options for the development of the situation:
- Righteous anger of the husband at the fact that the responsibility of the wife was violated, for example, the woman decided for two and neglected contraception, the man feels infringed and “bent in a vise”. A difficult situation that gives rise to distrust and cooling of relations.
- Pregnancy occurred, although the woman was protected. Here, too, development is different. Husband needs time to accept it. For a woman, this is also a test and test of her husband’s feelings. A loving husband will try to accept the situation over time, but if he insists on an abortion, a reason to think: is that man nearby?
How to persuade a husband to have a child?
The husband does not want children, how to persuade the husband to have a child — questions such as cries of despair are often found in various forums. The family is a responsibility in half, all decisions must be made jointly and rightly so. A wise woman will always understand her man, give him time and subtly lead him to the readiness to become a father. Men can’t stand outright pressure and it’s important to understand this.
How to persuade a husband to have a second child?
First you need to identify the reason why the faithful husband does not want a second child, this must be done tactfully, without strong pressure. To encourage a spouse to have a second baby, it is important to follow the following rules:
- men are not led by violent emotions, they close, panic and do not hear a woman at such moments, so arguments and facts are needed why it is worth replenishing your family;
- every objection needs a weighty argument;
- if a man is afraid to lose his wife’s attention again, as was the case with the first baby, it is necessary to explain that the first experience always requires more concentration, and there is more wisdom, there will be enough attention for everyone;
- if a man is concerned about the material side of the issue, you can sit down and draw up a joint plan for the distribution of funds, in many families the things of the first child remain, so there may be less expenses;
- often the husband, observing the enthusiasm and confidence of his wife, agrees to become a father again, and an insecure wife will not convince her husband.
How to persuade a husband to have a third child?
Where there are two, there are three, but what if: “I want a third child, but my husband does not want to.” The modern world requires a person to make informed decisions and the ability to quickly adapt to circumstances. The third child is a serious decision even for those men who consider themselves responsible and loving fathers. All pros and cons must be weighed. It must be a mutual decision. Often men agree after the fact, when the wife has already accidentally become pregnant and even then are happy, but it is better to plan the pregnancy together.
Husband does not want children — advice from a psychologist
What to do if a man does not want children? Psychologists advise the following:
- to motivate your husband, for example, to emphasize that he can and knows so much and that he can pass on all this experience to his child;
- if the reason why a man does not want a baby is jealousy, it is important to let him know that there will be enough attention and love for both;
- unobtrusively periodically complimenting her husband that he is the best and most caring husband in the world and how lucky the future baby is with dad, and he will definitely inherit the appearance from dad;
- start talking with friends who already have children, invite them to your place and visit them, and if a man has a fear of children, he will soon dissipate;
- make it clear to a man that his personal space and a certain freedom, in which there is a place for friends and fishing trips, will remain the same.
Husband does not want children — priest’s advice
All methods of persuasion have been tried, but the husband does not want children, what to do in this case, the advice of the clergy:
- indulging fears is cowardice and distrust of God, it is important to cast aside all doubts and let new life into the world, marriage without children is incomplete;
- if the husband is a believer, the task of the wife is to help him strengthen his faith that a child is a gift from God;
- together with her husband, come to the priest and confess what is oppressive, why the man is against the child, because the priest is a kind of good psychologist, without judgment he will find the right word and strengthen the intention.
How to get pregnant if the husband does not want children?
It is necessary to remember the following thing, that if the husband does not want children at all, it is important to reckon with his opinion, he has the right to do so. Another question: are you on the way with him? All responsibility can fall on women’s shoulders, and a man, feeling used and deceived, can simply leave by slamming the door. Therefore, methods such as piercing a condom, neglecting contraception, do not always lead to a happy ending, a long-awaited pregnancy occurs, but the relationship with her husband is seriously tested. But the choice is up to the woman.