There are many convenient answers to this question. For example, why not say that men do not want to marry because they are afraid of losing their usual freedom? Or why not add that men don’t want to get married because they don’t want to be bound by only one sexual partner? After all, why not assume that men do not want to marry because they already have one failed marriage to their credit?
However, this is what confuses me personally. There have always been unsuccessful marriages, always a man was considered a polygamous individual, and he always sought to preserve his freedom. However, he married, had children, and took responsibility for his family. Research suggests that men have only actively avoided family ties in the last 40 years, preferring the easy option of simple cohabitation.
Ignoring the above answers to the question of why men do not want to marry, I will offer my own, starting from the word “cohabitation”. Or, as it is now fashionable to voice it, “civil marriage”. I can somehow understand that in the days of the NEP, for trade union activists in red scarves tied behind them, civil marriage was an inspired breaking of bourgeois foundations. Another country, another time. But explain to me why these cohabitations are necessary for modern girls.
I understand when a lawful husband flashes before my eyes around the clock. But to endure 24 hours a day the flashing of an outsider who can fade at any moment, and to whom you must wash and iron socks, shorts, shirts?
Ay! Dear girls, dear women, fellow ladies! You don’t have to be so accessible — so as not to rack your brains at night over why he doesn’t want to marry you. A man never appreciated what easily fell into his hands.
You have no idea how many men of different ages have confessed to me that they chose their wives because they didn’t go to bed with them on the very first night they met. Do you find this strange? And why? Today, men do not want to marry easy women in the same way that they did not want to do it two centuries ago — because human nature does not change!
I can imagine how someone is now snorting at me and half-contemptuously throws to a friend: “And from which chest did this mothballed moth flutter out?” It’s okay, nothing will fall off my wings, so I’ll continue.
If a man does not want to marry
Is it a question? I mean, what to do if a man doesn’t want to marry you in any way, although you have been together for many years? Collect his belongings and send him in the direction from which he appeared on your horizon. (Don’t forget to give him the toothbrush and shaving blades so he doesn’t have a reason to bother you again). Or — pack your things in your favorite suitcase, throw your pair of keys to his apartment off the balcony, go outside and say to yourself: “I am a free woman!”
If you suspected that this man did not want and was not going to marry, why did you waste your life on him? A man can have children at 60 or 80 years old. The biological age of a woman is catastrophically shorter. But even if you did not want to have children (which I doubt), for the sake of which you threw under the feet of this person those happy occasions, those interesting acquaintances, those new meetings and opportunities to get married that you could have if you were free? After all, you wanted to have a husband next to you, and not a roommate or lover — otherwise you would not have asked why he would not marry you. Is not it?
Just please don’t tell me you loved him. Love presupposes the equality of the spirit and feelings, otherwise it is a flawed dependence.
Why doesn’t he want to get married?
Why? If you are cohabiting, he does not want to marry you for the simple reason that he does not see the point in it. What will change — except that one more stamp will be added to the passport? Men rarely marry women with whom they have lived simply as partners for many years. So in this case, there should simply be no confusion as to why he, the scoundrel, does not marry you in any way.
I know more than one example when a young girl herself drove herself into a trap of cohabitation with her peer, also periodically wondering why the guy did not want to marry her. After 10–15 years, this young guy turned into a young man who met and started a family with a completely different chosen one. And his former cohabitant — no longer a young girl — suddenly realized that it is incredibly more difficult for a woman at 35 to get married than a 25-year-old.
If you don’t live together, but just date for many years, then let me ask you the following question. Has it ever occurred to you at all that if a man does not want to marry any woman, it simply means that he does not love this woman at all?
… I still do not understand who and why decided that men do not want to marry. Of course they fall in love, of course they get married, of course they have children. And among my acquaintances there are quite a few young married couples in which husbands adore their wives. What’s the secret? Men love those women who love themselves. And who, in response to the proposal: “Let’s live together!” shrug their shoulders and answer: “Why? If we get married, then we will live together.”