Family conflicts are the most common reason couples turn to a psychologist. Ways to resolve family conflicts largely depend on what kind of conflict arose within the framework of a given cell of society. Conflicts in a family with children have a very negative impact on their perception of parental relationships and marriage as such.
Types of family conflicts
Consider the most common classification of conflicts:
- constructive conflicts. Such conflicts arise for various reasons, but their solution brings a sense of satisfaction to both curtains, in other words, this is a kind of compromise solution that both conflicting parties agree on. Whether it is a conflict in a young family, or in a family with many years of experience, its outcome is always favorable.
- destructive conflicts. Such conflicts are very dangerous, because their outcome does not satisfy both parties and can drag on for many years, reducing the feeling of satisfaction with their marriage, leaving an unpleasant aftertaste for a long time. Frequent repetition of such conflicts can lead to divorce.
Causes of family conflicts
They can be very varied. Psychologists say that both sides are guilty of conflicts. Common patterns of behavior for each of the spouses can also serve as reasons for conflicts. Depending on what contribution each of the spouses makes to the conflict, it is conventionally customary to divide behavior models into several semantic groups.
- The desire to assert itself in the family. The desire for self-affirmation, as a rule, covers all areas of relationships, so here a conflict can erupt at any moment. The desire of one of the spouses to take a leading position in marriage is often reinforced by “parental” advice. Such a desire is contrary to the basic principles of marriage, including cooperation and mutual respect. In such situations, any request can be regarded as an infringement on personal freedom, and create a tense atmosphere in the family.
- Didactic. The habit of one of the partners to teach the other in anything. This model of behavior leads to family and marital conflicts, due to the fact that it limits any manifestation of independence and introduces constant disagreements in outlook on life.
- Focus solely on your business. Every adult has a lot of responsibilities to superiors, parents, children, etc. therefore, as a rule, there is no time and energy left to participate or at least follow the progress of the affairs of the spouse. This model of behavior is especially often seen in newlyweds, since none of them is ready to change their established life habits, so placing additional responsibilities on their shoulders leads to conflicts.
- “Puzzle”. In everyday communication between spouses, there is always some kind of routine and concern for family problems, this leads to a lack of joint positive experiences and, as a result, to the emergence of conflict situations.
Ways to resolve family conflicts
There are many ineffective ways to resolve family conflicts, the use of which can not only take your precious time, but also aggravate the conflict in the family. To resolve conflict situations in your family, it is best to seek help from family psychologists, and not check the advice of neighbors, acquaintances or parents on your family life. It is impossible that there should be no conflicts in the family at all, since the peculiarity of family relations is that people of the opposite sex with completely different life histories and different upbringing enter into marriage, and at the same time they are forced to somehow get along with each other under one roof. All that can be done in this case is to prevent family conflicts.
How to avoid conflicts in the family?
Here are some simple tips that can help you avoid conflicts in your family.
- There must be trust in the family. If one of the partners does not finish something or keeping a secret from the other, this in itself can provoke a tense atmosphere in the relationship, and the extent of the conflict that arose as a result of this can be much more terrifying than the fact you withheld.
- The ability to give in to each other. As we have already discussed above, one of the causes of family conflicts may be the desire of one of the spouses to take a dominant position, which leads to acute conflict situations. Do not forget that the guarantee of a happy marriage lies in the equality of its members. Know how to make concessions for the sake of your love.