Family Conflicts

Fam­i­ly con­flicts are the most com­mon rea­son cou­ples turn to a psy­chol­o­gist. Ways to resolve fam­i­ly con­flicts large­ly depend on what kind of con­flict arose with­in the frame­work of a giv­en cell of soci­ety. Con­flicts in a fam­i­ly with chil­dren have a very neg­a­tive impact on their per­cep­tion of parental rela­tion­ships and mar­riage as such.

Types of family conflicts

Con­sid­er the most com­mon clas­si­fi­ca­tion of con­flicts:

1. con­struc­tive con­flicts. Such con­flicts arise for var­i­ous rea­sons, but their solu­tion brings a sense of sat­is­fac­tion to both cur­tains, in oth­er words, this is a kind of com­pro­mise solu­tion that both con­flict­ing par­ties agree on. Whether it is a con­flict in a young fam­i­ly, or in a fam­i­ly with many years of expe­ri­ence, its out­come is always favor­able.
2. destruc­tive con­flicts. Such con­flicts are very dan­ger­ous, because their out­come does not sat­is­fy both par­ties and can drag on for many years, reduc­ing the feel­ing of sat­is­fac­tion with their mar­riage, leav­ing an unpleas­ant after­taste for a long time. Fre­quent rep­e­ti­tion of such con­flicts can lead to divorce.

Causes of family conflicts

They can be very var­ied. Psy­chol­o­gists say that both sides are guilty of con­flicts. Com­mon pat­terns of behav­ior for each of the spous­es can also serve as rea­sons for con­flicts. Depend­ing on what con­tri­bu­tion each of the spous­es makes to the con­flict, it is con­ven­tion­al­ly cus­tom­ary to divide behav­ior mod­els into sev­er­al seman­tic groups.

1. The desire to assert itself in the fam­i­ly. The desire for self-affir­ma­tion, as a rule, cov­ers all areas of rela­tion­ships, so here a con­flict can erupt at any moment. The desire of one of the spous­es to take a lead­ing posi­tion in mar­riage is often rein­forced by “parental” advice. Such a desire is con­trary to the basic prin­ci­ples of mar­riage, includ­ing coop­er­a­tion and mutu­al respect. In such sit­u­a­tions, any request can be regard­ed as an infringe­ment on per­son­al free­dom, and cre­ate a tense atmos­phere in the fam­i­ly.
2. Didac­tic. The habit of one of the part­ners to teach the oth­er in any­thing. This mod­el of behav­ior leads to fam­i­ly and mar­i­tal con­flicts, due to the fact that it lim­its any man­i­fes­ta­tion of inde­pen­dence and intro­duces con­stant dis­agree­ments in out­look on life.
3. Focus sole­ly on your busi­ness. Every adult has a lot of respon­si­bil­i­ties to supe­ri­ors, par­ents, chil­dren, etc. there­fore, as a rule, there is no time and ener­gy left to par­tic­i­pate or at least fol­low the progress of the affairs of the spouse. This mod­el of behav­ior is espe­cial­ly often seen in new­ly­weds, since none of them is ready to change their estab­lished life habits, so plac­ing addi­tion­al respon­si­bil­i­ties on their shoul­ders leads to con­flicts.
4. “Puz­zle”. In every­day com­mu­ni­ca­tion between spous­es, there is always some kind of rou­tine and con­cern for fam­i­ly prob­lems, this leads to a lack of joint pos­i­tive expe­ri­ences and, as a result, to the emer­gence of con­flict sit­u­a­tions.

Ways to resolve family conflicts

There are many inef­fec­tive ways to resolve fam­i­ly con­flicts, the use of which can not only take your pre­cious time, but also aggra­vate the con­flict in the fam­i­ly. To resolve con­flict sit­u­a­tions in your fam­i­ly, it is best to seek help from fam­i­ly psy­chol­o­gists, and not check the advice of neigh­bors, acquain­tances or par­ents on your fam­i­ly life. It is impos­si­ble that there should be no con­flicts in the fam­i­ly at all, since the pecu­liar­i­ty of fam­i­ly rela­tions is that peo­ple of the oppo­site sex with com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent life his­to­ries and dif­fer­ent upbring­ing enter into mar­riage, and at the same time they are forced to some­how get along with each oth­er under one roof. All that can be done in this case is to pre­vent fam­i­ly con­flicts.

How to avoid conflicts in the family?

Here are some sim­ple tips that can help you avoid con­flicts in your fam­i­ly.

1. There must be trust in the fam­i­ly. If one of the part­ners does not fin­ish some­thing or keep­ing a secret from the oth­er, this in itself can pro­voke a tense atmos­phere in the rela­tion­ship, and the extent of the con­flict that arose as a result of this can be much more ter­ri­fy­ing than the fact you with­held.
2. The abil­i­ty to give in to each oth­er. As we have already dis­cussed above, one of the caus­es of fam­i­ly con­flicts may be the desire of one of the spous­es to take a dom­i­nant posi­tion, which leads to acute con­flict sit­u­a­tions. Do not for­get that the guar­an­tee of a hap­py mar­riage lies in the equal­i­ty of its mem­bers. Know how to make con­ces­sions for the sake of your love.