A happy marriage is a rarity these days. It is fashionable to judge this based on divorce statistics alone, which says that from 60% to 80% of all marriages eventually break up. That is why it is worth thinking about how to make a marriage happy from the very beginning in order to keep the relationship positive.
Are there happy marriages?
The answer to such a question is unequivocal — yes, and the foundations of a happy marriage are simple and understandable to everyone, it’s just that over time people cease to consider it necessary to adhere to them.
At its core, the psychology of a happy marriage is similar to the psychology of a happy relationship: respect, mutual understanding, support and diversity are necessary, because it is precisely because everything becomes boring that mutual “digging for shortcomings” begins, instead of, as before, , appeal to the merits.
Secrets of a Happy Marriage
The path to a happy marriage runs through the realization of one’s own mistakes. After all, if initially in the relationship it was “everything is bad”, you would not marry this person. So, if you go back to the roots, you can return to the relationship a lot of what has already been forgotten, but before it always made you happy.
- The first rule of a happy marriage is mutual respect! Never speak badly about what is important to your spouse. Don’t swear in front of people. Avoid offensive language and sarcastic tone. RESPECT your partner in every sense of the word.
- The statistics of happy marriages show that people who have common hobbies or a common job are much more satisfied with their marriage than others. Your task is to find it. Dance courses? Sports activities? Supply system? Evening walks? Joint creativity? You should have a common cause that gives you a lot of joy.
- Laughter sounds only in happy families. Have fun: watch comedies, remember jokes and funny stories in conversation, communicate like friends. If all your conversations concern only everyday life, get rid of it, start conversations about values and interests.
- Tactile contact. Strive to constantly touch each other. Kiss before you leave and when you return, hug while watching TV. It’s the little things that really bring them together.
- Avoid lengthy fights. This does not mean that you need to indulge your soul mate in everything. Just find a constructive way out of the situation — do not sulk for a week, but sit down and calmly discuss how to get out of this situation, find a compromise.
Many believe that a happy second marriage is more likely than a happy first, but this only applies to those unions that were entered into due to youth, stupidity or pregnancy — that is, without a preliminary assessment of compatibility and other important qualities.
How to become happy in marriage?
If you see that marriage does not suit you, perhaps the matter is in your attitude towards it, and not in other problems. Start with an analysis by taking paper and a pen:
- What specifically do you dislike about marriage?
- How can you change it?
- How much time will be required for this?
For example, you do not like that your husband sits in front of the TV or computer all day. In order to change this and involve him in spending time together, you need to offer him an interesting alternative: watch a movie, take a walk, go to the theater or cinema, go on a visit, etc. It will take almost no time to do this, and you can apply it almost any evening when there is such a desire. The problem appears to be resolved. Similarly, you can solve most of the problems in marriage, which generally lend themselves to solution.