The war brought all Ukraini­ans togeth­er, but sep­a­rat­ed cou­ples and fam­i­lies. Sev­er­al mil­lion of our cit­i­zens (and most of them are women cit­i­zens) are forced to seek refuge abroad, leav­ing their hus­bands in Ukraine. Dis­tance is a seri­ous test for a rela­tion­ship, espe­cial­ly in such extreme con­di­tions of high uncer­tain­ty. We have found 7 tips that will help you over­come these obsta­cles more eas­i­ly and main­tain your rela­tion­ship with your loved one.

Appointment schedule

If you do not know when you will be able to arrange a real face-to-face meet­ing, then you need to plan your online com­mu­ni­ca­tion. For exam­ple, agree that at 9 o’clock every evening you have a con­ver­sa­tion on the phone, and on Sun­days you watch a movie via video link or play online games togeth­er. Sep­a­ra­tion is much eas­i­er to bear when you always remem­ber that on clear­ly defined days and hours you will hear each oth­er again and spend time togeth­er. Of course, the sched­ule does not can­cel addi­tion­al calls or video meet­ings at unbooked times 🙂

Involve a partner in your life

Share per­son­al pho­tos and videos more often. So you can keep each oth­er in the con­text of the new real­i­ty to reduce the emo­tion­al dis­tance. It is not nec­es­sary to wait for par­tic­u­lar­ly impor­tant moments that are sup­pos­ed­ly worth film­ing. Even house­hold tri­fles will be valu­able: what inter­est­ing thing did you cook for din­ner, which strange dog did you see on the street, which beau­ti­ful park did you find near the house. And do not for­get to show your­self and your reac­tion to what is hap­pen­ing. In online com­mu­ni­ca­tion, this is often lack­ing, and thanks to live emo­tions, the part­ner will feel that he is com­mu­ni­cat­ing with you, and not with an avatar in the mes­sen­ger.

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Time for two

We are sure that you will find a mil­lion impor­tant things to dis­cuss: how are rel­a­tives and friends doing, bureau­crat­ic prob­lems in anoth­er state, domes­tic affairs and geopo­lit­i­cal trends. But it is worth set­ting aside meet­ings when you will not com­mu­ni­cate about rou­tine, affairs and duties. Remem­ber that romance of the first months of the rela­tion­ship, when you talked a lot more about your­self and got to know each oth­er, day­dreamed aloud or just dis­cussed fun­ny non­sense. Bring back such con­ver­sa­tions again so that every­day life and prob­lems, even in the online for­mat, do not final­ly eat away the romance in the rela­tion­ship.

Bring back flirting and intimacy

Open com­pli­ments, unex­pect­ed seduc­tive pho­tos, hints — do not for­get that you are not just part­ners, but also lovers. Learn to flirt with each oth­er again, even if it’s a lit­tle shy or scary at first. Believe me, the appetite comes while eat­ing 🙂 You can get emo­tion­al relief over the phone, and if you don’t know how to approach it, spe­cial mobile appli­ca­tions for cou­ples will come to your aid. Arrange a spe­cial evening ahead of time, buy a bot­tle of wine, con­nect via video call and go to the game. There are dif­fer­ent options: for exam­ple, fans, ana­logues of “bot­tles”. Don’t wor­ry, the lev­els vary by pas­sion, so you can start with inno­cent ques­tions and lev­el up when you’re both ready.

Talk about your feelings

As much as you want to roman­ti­cize the begin­ning of a rela­tion­ship, after some time togeth­er you have some­thing much more impor­tant than the ini­tial fire­works of hor­mones — trust in each oth­er. In such dif­fi­cult times it is worth using it. Share your feel­ings sin­cere­ly: admit that some­times it is dif­fi­cult for you and you give up, and some­times, on the con­trary, you feel a burst of ener­gy and moti­va­tion. Tell your part­ner about your own expe­ri­ences and be ready to lis­ten to him with­out judg­ment and pro­vide the sup­port he needs now. You are the clos­est peo­ple to each oth­er, so it is impor­tant to put your shoul­der up and lean on your part­ner your­self.

Make plans

No mat­ter how dif­fi­cult the cir­cum­stances are now, they will not remain so for­ev­er. You still have a long life togeth­er, so you should not for­get about it and slow­ly make plans for it. You can start sim­ply with dreams 🙂 We are sure that the war forced you to recon­sid­er your val­ues ​​and views on life, so maybe your dreams have changed? Dis­cuss it togeth­er and do not judge each oth­er’s fan­tasies. A hap­py pic­ture of a com­mon future will give strength to live here and now, over­com­ing bad weath­er.

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Make surprises

Deliv­ery of flow­ers or your favorite dessert, a roman­tic hand­writ­ten let­ter placed in the par­cel, or just an unex­pect­ed voice mes­sage with con­fes­sions of feel­ings. The size of the sur­prise does­n’t mat­ter, you just need to turn on your imag­i­na­tion and feel inspired to make your loved one a lit­tle hap­pi­er 🙂

Part of the mate­r­i­al was cre­at­ed based on the advice of psy­chol­o­gist Oksana Votum.