The war brought all Ukrainians together, but separated couples and families. Several million of our citizens (and most of them are women citizens) are forced to seek refuge abroad, leaving their husbands in Ukraine. Distance is a serious test for a relationship, especially in such extreme conditions of high uncertainty. We have found 7 tips that will help you overcome these obstacles more easily and maintain your relationship with your loved one.
If you do not know when you will be able to arrange a real face-to-face meeting, then you need to plan your online communication. For example, agree that at 9 o’clock every evening you have a conversation on the phone, and on Sundays you watch a movie via video link or play online games together. Separation is much easier to bear when you always remember that on clearly defined days and hours you will hear each other again and spend time together. Of course, the schedule does not cancel additional calls or video meetings at unbooked times 🙂
Involve a partner in your life
Share personal photos and videos more often. So you can keep each other in the context of the new reality to reduce the emotional distance. It is not necessary to wait for particularly important moments that are supposedly worth filming. Even household trifles will be valuable: what interesting thing did you cook for dinner, which strange dog did you see on the street, which beautiful park did you find near the house. And do not forget to show yourself and your reaction to what is happening. In online communication, this is often lacking, and thanks to live emotions, the partner will feel that he is communicating with you, and not with an avatar in the messenger.
Time for two
We are sure that you will find a million important things to discuss: how are relatives and friends doing, bureaucratic problems in another state, domestic affairs and geopolitical trends. But it is worth setting aside meetings when you will not communicate about routine, affairs and duties. Remember that romance of the first months of the relationship, when you talked a lot more about yourself and got to know each other, daydreamed aloud or just discussed funny nonsense. Bring back such conversations again so that everyday life and problems, even in the online format, do not finally eat away the romance in the relationship.
Bring back flirting and intimacy
Open compliments, unexpected seductive photos, hints — do not forget that you are not just partners, but also lovers. Learn to flirt with each other again, even if it’s a little shy or scary at first. Believe me, the appetite comes while eating 🙂 You can get emotional relief over the phone, and if you don’t know how to approach it, special mobile applications for couples will come to your aid. Arrange a special evening ahead of time, buy a bottle of wine, connect via video call and go to the game. There are different options: for example, fans, analogues of “bottles”. Don’t worry, the levels vary by passion, so you can start with innocent questions and level up when you’re both ready.
Talk about your feelings
As much as you want to romanticize the beginning of a relationship, after some time together you have something much more important than the initial fireworks of hormones — trust in each other. In such difficult times it is worth using it. Share your feelings sincerely: admit that sometimes it is difficult for you and you give up, and sometimes, on the contrary, you feel a burst of energy and motivation. Tell your partner about your own experiences and be ready to listen to him without judgment and provide the support he needs now. You are the closest people to each other, so it is important to put your shoulder up and lean on your partner yourself.
No matter how difficult the circumstances are now, they will not remain so forever. You still have a long life together, so you should not forget about it and slowly make plans for it. You can start simply with dreams 🙂 We are sure that the war forced you to reconsider your values and views on life, so maybe your dreams have changed? Discuss it together and do not judge each other’s fantasies. A happy picture of a common future will give strength to live here and now, overcoming bad weather.
Delivery of flowers or your favorite dessert, a romantic handwritten letter placed in the parcel, or just an unexpected voice message with confessions of feelings. The size of the surprise doesn’t matter, you just need to turn on your imagination and feel inspired to make your loved one a little happier 🙂
Part of the material was created based on the advice of psychologist Oksana Votum.