How to Reconcile Parents?

Not every­one is lucky to have a peace­ful fam­i­ly with lov­ing par­ents. In mod­ern fam­i­lies, quar­rels have already become com­mon­place. For some peo­ple, a quar­rel is a cer­tain way of liv­ing togeth­er, a method of solv­ing prob­lems, but the child does not under­stand this, he believes that the rea­son is in him and that he is bad. He feels defense­less and help­less, not know­ing which side to take. If a teenag­er can some­how protest, then the kid is sim­ply afraid when his par­ents scream, and it doesn’t mat­ter at him or one at the oth­er. Chil­dren often have the ques­tion of how to rec­on­cile their par­ents, and in some sit­u­a­tions they real­ly man­age to estab­lish a fam­i­ly envi­ron­ment.

Causes of conflicts — why parents constantly swear:

1. Dis­re­spect for a part­ner, actions and words that hurt the dig­ni­ty of a per­son, mutu­al insults, often become one of the rea­sons why par­ents quar­rel. Quar­rels will def­i­nite­ly arise in a cou­ple where there is no trust, when one spouse tries to fol­low the oth­er, con­trol his actions, is jeal­ous for no rea­son.
2. Lack of romance is also the rea­son why par­ents fight all the time. Usu­al­ly there is romance at the begin­ning of a rela­tion­ship, but then it grad­u­al­ly dis­ap­pears. The hus­band stops car­ing and pay­ing atten­tion to his wife, the wife stops flirt­ing with her hus­band, tak­ing care of her­self.
3. Par­ents swear because the real­i­ty in the fam­i­ly does not meet expec­ta­tions. Many peo­ple have their own vision of life togeth­er, and when it goes against real­i­ty, quar­rels arise. The rea­son for such quar­rels can be a lack of care, ten­der­ness, bad sex, etc.
4. Exag­ger­at­ed demands of part­ners, as well as when spous­es have dif­fer­ent ideas about the rights and oblig­a­tions of each oth­er, con­tribute to the emer­gence of mutu­al dis­sat­is­fac­tion and dis­ap­point­ment.
5. Quar­rels can arise when the fam­i­ly has bor­ing and monot­o­nous leisure. Day after day, the same thing, no bright emo­tions, diver­si­ty, new sen­sa­tions. When spous­es spend their hol­i­days sep­a­rate­ly, it also caus­es scan­dals between them.

What to do if parents quarrel?

1. If par­ents quar­rel, the first thing to do is to estab­lish the cause of the con­tention. If it is seri­ous — alco­hol, betray­al, or you see that the feel­ings of the par­ents have cooled down, then you bet­ter stay away, the par­ents will fig­ure it out them­selves, and you just need to make their deci­sion.
2. Find a com­pro­mise. After deter­min­ing the cause of the prob­lem, try to find a solu­tion that suits both par­ents on your own.
3. Talk to each par­ent sep­a­rate­ly. Try to make it look nat­ur­al, for exam­ple, at break­fast, when your father leaves, ask your moth­er why the par­ents are argu­ing, what was the rea­son, and what will they do next. Ques­tion­ing is need­ed to start a con­ver­sa­tion. When mom answers these ques­tions, tell me how you wor­ry about their quar­rel, that you have bad thoughts. You need to arouse her sym­pa­thy and the real­iza­tion that they have a bad effect on you with their bick­er­ing.
4. When mom can look at the con­flict from a dif­fer­ent angle and real­izes that she is doing the wrong thing, lie by mak­ing up a sto­ry that dad real­ly wants to make peace, but does not know how. And be the first to ask for for­give­ness.
5. Repeat the same steps with your father.
6. Don’t be stu­pid. Do not fol­low the advice from the series: start inject­ing, drink­ing, smok­ing. Do not start quar­rel­ing with your par­ents your­self, this is not the best way to rec­on­cile them. So you will only aggra­vate the con­flict even more and bring your­self addi­tion­al prob­lems. You need to reas­sure, not cre­ate addi­tion­al dif­fi­cul­ties for par­ents.
7. If mom does not go to rec­on­cil­i­a­tion, buy flow­ers and present to her, say­ing that dad bought it, but he begged you not to say that the bou­quet was from him. If the father is offend­ed, buy a cologne that he loves and say that the moth­er bought the per­fume, but asked you to donate it from your­self. The main thing is to con­tin­ue not to admit that you set it up.

Do not give up and do not lose heart, per­haps you will invent your own method of how to rec­on­cile your par­ents. Peace to your fam­i­ly!