alcoholic husband what to do

Most like­ly, you did not choose such a man. At first he just drank. And in prin­ci­ple, you could like him: cheer­ful, wit­ty, knows how to con­trol him­self. You thought you’d see him like this on hol­i­days: the life of the par­ty, though not quite sober. How­ev­er, after the wed­ding, he did not stop deny­ing him­self alco­hol. And he was all the same cheer­ful, until that moment, until he real­ized — you don’t like him like that at all any­more. And even more than that — he feels that you are ready to make him choose: either me or alco­hol …

How is the sit­u­a­tion devel­op­ing fur­ther?

If you love your hus­band, then most like­ly you are try­ing to help him. You slip brochures about the dan­gers of alco­hol and even busi­ness cards from doc­tors who promise to deal with the prob­lem. How­ev­er, it seems to you that the hus­band ignores the hints, and des­per­ate­ly refus­es to admit the prob­lem. He gets irri­tat­ed and tries to drink in secret from you. You may start think­ing about how to divorce your alco­holic hus­band, because liv­ing with him becomes unbear­able. Maybe your hus­band becomes jeal­ous and may abuse you. If you sur­vive this stage, then, most like­ly, the next one will come: he will ask you for for­give­ness in the morn­ing and promise not to drink. Per­haps the pic­ture seems too gloomy to you. And hope­less.

Of course, it is eas­i­est to leave an alco­holic hus­band, but let’s think about how to get rid of him in anoth­er way. Solv­ing the prob­lem of how to help an alco­holic hus­band is the top­ic of our today’s arti­cle.

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Recog­ni­tion of respon­si­bil­i­ty

Let’s think about why your hus­band drinks. Yes, maybe genes, maybe work sug­gests, or friends like that… We often look for rea­sons in the out­side world, but in this arti­cle we sug­gest you take a dif­fer­ent approach. Look for the rea­son… in your­self. Of course you did­n’t want your hus­band to drink. And per­haps tried to be the best wife in the world. And of course it’s not your fault. How­ev­er, this does not mean that you could not attract an alco­holic.

If a man refus­es to find the prob­lem him­self and admit respon­si­bil­i­ty, you should not think about what to do and how to deal with an alco­holic hus­band. The strug­gle makes you lose strength and for­get your­self in a new por­tion of booze. Take respon­si­bil­i­ty for your­self: not for your hus­band’s addic­tion to alco­hol, but for his (hus­band’s) pres­ence in your life.

Respon­si­bil­i­ty is not the same as guilt

Accept­ing respon­si­bil­i­ty does not mean that you should blame your­self for what hap­pened. An alco­holic hus­band is most often evi­dence that a woman does not love her­self. Does not love in the glob­al sense of the word, does not accept. Caus­es sub­con­scious aggres­sion.

Look at your hus­band with dif­fer­ent eyes

If you are deter­mined to save your fam­i­ly, but do not know how to live with an alco­holic hus­band, try to imag­ine his ill­ness in a dif­fer­ent way. His soul is sick, and alco­hol helps him. Not every rem­e­dy is good. How­ev­er, put before your­self anoth­er for­mu­la­tion: you are treat­ing a sick soul, not alco­holism. Alco­holism is just a con­se­quence. Think about it What emo­tion­al state does your hus­band want to get when he drinks?

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Per­haps in this case he becomes the soul of the com­pa­ny? Does he lack atten­tion? Courage? When drunk, does he become affec­tion­ate? See if you can give him the emo­tion­al state he’s look­ing for with­out alco­hol. If nec­es­sary, enlist the help of a fam­i­ly psy­chol­o­gist who spe­cial­izes in such cas­es.

How to cure an alco­holic hus­band? Give love. Not all-for­giv­ing and all-accept­ing, but self-love. If you love your­self enough and accept your­self enough, then such a man has no place in your life. Thus, either the pre­fix “alco­holic” or “alco­holic hus­band” should dis­ap­pear entire­ly.

How to leave an alco­holic hus­band?

Pity is one of the most com­mon rea­sons why a woman tol­er­ates a man who has long been left with­out her love. Most like­ly, the man will put pres­sure on this point, tear­ful­ly promis­ing that the sit­u­a­tion will not hap­pen again. How­ev­er, if the pre­vi­ous con­ver­sa­tions (with an attempt to find out the root cause) did not lead to any­thing, and you your­self are ready to break off the rela­tion­ship, then a firm deci­sion is need­ed. Leave right:

  • anoth­er con­ver­sa­tion can make your heart trem­ble, so it’s best to pack your things and leave the house. Do not tor­ture your­self with thoughts of how he is there with­out you. Every­one is respon­si­ble for his own life;
  • try to warn mutu­al friends in advance so that they do not tell you about his break­downs and pleas to return. Leave bad thoughts with your hus­band;
  • leave the divorce to the lawyers. Try to keep com­mu­ni­ca­tion with your hus­band to a min­i­mum;
  • how to leave an alcoholic husband
  • wor­ry about your safe­ty: move to friends, do not be alone. Espe­cial­ly — if in a state of intox­i­ca­tion the hus­band was prone to vio­lence;
  • fill your head with oth­er thoughts. Sign up for a for­eign lan­guage course, dance or yoga. The lat­ter will allow you to relax and let go of the sit­u­a­tion;
  • take care of the kids. Chil­dren have a hard time in a fam­i­ly of alco­holics, and per­haps you spent too much ener­gy on fight­ing, and not on rais­ing off­spring. In no case do not hush up the prob­lem, talk to chil­dren, but avoid accu­sa­tions. It is best to seek help from a spe­cial­ist.
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