The family has always occupied a central position in a woman’s life, but modern society is changing the moral foundations of family life, and changing it so much that schools even began to teach the subject “ethics and psychology of family life.” Well, our children will be told about everything, maybe this will help them create happy families in the future. But what about us, in our schools, there was no talk about the ethics and psychology of family life, but we really want happiness and peace in the family.
Stages of family life
To understand how to make family life happy, it is worth talking about the stages that every family goes through from the moment of its formation. The laws of a happy family life are different at every stage.
- First stage — love euphoria. Now the couple does not care about the secrets and rules of a happy family life, everything is wonderful anyway. Young spouses try to do everything together, not wanting to part for a long time. Optimistic plans are being made for a joint future.
- The second stage of family life in psychology is called period of recognition and habituation. The deafening joy passes, the spouses begin to look at life more soberly. This stage becomes the first serious test in the couple’s life. It happens that people are not ready to see each other without a romantic veil. And instead of the joy of recognition, they get mutual disappointment and irritation. The most important thing in this period of family life is the willingness to compromise and the desire to negotiate. There can be no family life without disputes and quarrels. This is completely normal and does not mean that you have chosen the wrong person. Each couple can name their own pros and cons of family life, and there can be quite a few of the latter. But sometimes a few positives can outweigh all the negatives.
- The third stage can be called family building period. If the problems of the previous stage were successfully resolved by the family, then the time for consent again comes for the spouses. Now the couple is preoccupied with building plans for the future and doing joint work. This may be raising a child, repairing an apartment, building a house, etc. All these actions bring joy to spouses and unite them.
- Fourth stage — stability time. The family has all the responsibilities, the spouses know their responsibility for certain areas of life. The spouses have already recognized each other, are accustomed to small weaknesses and willingly forgive them. Now the children have already been placed in a school (university), an apartment has been bought, everything seems to be fine. The danger lies in the routine that appears in family life. Therefore, the secrets of preserving the family at this stage can be called fantasy, the ingenuity of the spouses and the desire to be interesting to another. If you don’t let everyday life completely crowd out romance, then your family will continue its happy existence. Otherwise, the next step begins.
- Fifth stage — stagnation. Spouses can hardly stand being in the same territory, sleep on their own half of the bed or in different rooms, communicate only when absolutely necessary. Some families continue to live like this, some break up, and some manage to pull themselves out of this swamp. This happens either after a serious conversation and dotting all the “i” or after a significant incident (possibly tragic) in the life of the family. Then comes a period of recovery, the spouses again begin to make joint plans for the future and hope for the best. And the couple also has invaluable experience and a desire to no longer make previously made mistakes.
There are many tips for maintaining a happy family life. But, probably, the most important will be calls to love, respect and appreciate your soul mate.