Quarrels with her husband are common and there is nothing abnormal in this, yet everyone has their own habits and opinions about some things may not coincide. But if quarrels with her husband become constant, then this is already an alarming bell that cannot be ignored. It is important to understand the reasons for frequent quarrels with your husband and find a way to avoid them.
Why do my husband and I fight all the time?
To answer the question of how to stop arguing with your husband, or at least do it less often, you need to understand why you have these quarrels. Therefore, after another quarrel, instead of crying to your friend “I quarreled with my husband,” it’s better to think about why this happened and what caused your other quarrels. Here are the most common causes of family conflicts.
- Your husband’s low self-esteem and, as a result, an attempt to increase it at the expense of other people, those who seem to him weak and unable to fight back.
- Family traditions — maybe in his family relationships were built in this way and your husband simply does not know what could be different, no one told him about it.
- Taking out grievances received at work, on the way home on the first person that came across. For example, he cannot tell his boss everything that he thinks about him, but you can yell at you.
- Stress, fatigue, illness can cause increased irritability. Even the calmest person begins to get annoyed over trifles if he feels bad.
- A quarrel can also occur due to the fact that there are some obstacles on the way to the desired goal. For example, a person is tired to hell, he doesn’t even need dinner, just to get to bed, and you start demanding something from him.
I often argue with my husband, what should I do?
It is logical to assume that if you say “we constantly quarrel with my husband, I don’t know what to do,” then you would not so much like to emerge victorious from disputes, but understand how not to quarrel with your husband — after all, frequent quarrels do not contribute to finding family happiness . To do this, it is necessary not only to determine the reasons for the behavior of the husband, but also to draw the appropriate conclusions.
- So, if you know about any chronic diseases of your husband or see him feeling unwell, you should not start itching over his ear, begging for something. Better take care of his health, make him drink medicine or see a doctor.
- Often, during disputes, spouses forget about the subject of conversation; from the outside, it may seem that they are figuring out which of them is smarter and more erudite. Learn to catch yourself at such moments, stop meaningless skirmishes, they still won’t help solve the problem. It is better to take a break, look at the situation from both sides and choose words to reach an agreement that suits both.
- Try to understand why your husband considers it possible to raise his voice at you, learn about his family values. Ask about what is bothering him now — men often cannot find the strength to tell on their own about the reasons for their discontent, they certainly need leading questions. But I still want to speak up.
- Work on your self-esteem, learn to respect yourself, show him that he will not achieve anything by shouting: “Well, you yelled at me, then what? What did you achieve with this? You will soon notice that not all of the husband’s barbs that pissed you off now reach the goal.
- Help raise your husband’s self-esteem, let him believe in himself — a self-sufficient person does not need to assert himself at someone else’s expense. Praise your husband (only without flattery), become his friend, who will always support you in everything. Let him know that no matter what happens to him outside the apartment, he is always welcomed and loved at home.
- Persuade him to start playing sports — let him relieve irritation not by screaming, but by pounding on a pear.
- After another quarrel with your husband, do not run to make peace with him, as if you yourself are to blame for everything, let him survive everything that happened, realize that his fault in the conflict is also there. And when the passions subside, it will be possible to return to an unpleasant conversation.