Unfortunately, today a family without a father is not uncommon. But is this a problem for modern women: we will stop a galloping horse, and give birth to a child without getting off the chair of the head, and raise a precious child, not forgetting to keep our subordinates in a tight grip. That’s right, today women are capable of many feats, but this does not mean that there are no differences between a family without a father and a complete family. To understand these differences, you need to understand what is the role of the father in the family, what duties are assigned to him, because modern society no longer prescribes a man to be a breadwinner and blame the rest of the chores on a woman.
The role of the father in the modern family
The problem of relations between fathers and children in the family has always been, and there is no getting away from it, different generations will always have different views on life situations. But if earlier the problems were due to the father’s too strong influence on the children, his word was decisive in almost any issue, today there is a loss of the father’s authority in the family. This happens for many reasons, the main of which is female emancipation. Thanks to her, the patriarchal model of the family was destroyed, and a new one has not yet had time to form.
Now men believe that they are not obliged to take responsibility for the family — equality is all the same, and it’s not a man’s business to sit with a rattle near a child. Fathers of families are now spending more and more at work, and when they come home they wish that no one disturbs them, especially a child with his stupid questions. As a result, children experience a lack of male influence, which the school cannot make up for — there, too, the majority of teachers are women. If the child does not see his father, they do not establish an emotional connection, there is no sense of respect for the elder. And when the child grows up, his father begins to sincerely wonder why his word means little to the child, why children run away with their problems and joys to their mother.
But such an approach to education gives rise to a lot of other problems — children do not know how a man should behave, they have nowhere to perceive the male model of behavior. From here we get infantile and selfish young men, and initially unhappy girls in their personal lives — they do not expect (and if they do not wait, they most often do not receive) any support from the opposite sex and take on an exorbitant burden in organizing their lives, raising children etc. Therefore, it is important not only to raise children in a complete family, but also not to reduce the role of the father to making money. If we talk about equality, then the contribution to family well-being (both material and spiritual) of both parents should be equivalent.
From the mother, children receive the first lessons of kindness, she contributes to the development of such qualities as sensitivity and kindness to people, the ability to appreciate kindness and give it to others. A mother teaches children about care and humanity. From their father, children receive willpower, the ability to defend their point of view, fight and win. Father teaches courage and resilience to life’s troubles. And no matter how loving father and brave mother, if there is only one parent, the child will still receive a one-sided upbringing. A full-fledged personality can be formed only under the influence of both father and mother.
Father’s new family
But what if the father left the family, try to return him to a cozy nest with all his might, fearing that the child will receive an inferior upbringing? Of course, you can try to return, but it is worth remembering that this does not always lead to the desired results. Often such “returnees” finally lose interest in family life and raising children, and after all, a man in the house is not “for furniture” needed. Therefore, it is often better to part amicably, having stipulated the father’s share in the life of his child, let them see each other, communicate and spend time together.
But you should not assign too much role to the biological father, as folk wisdom says, dad is not the one who conceived, but the one who raised. A man should be a senior mentor for a child, provide him with support (material, physical and emotional), all this can be done by a foster father. Therefore, if the baby’s father does not want to take part in his life, you should not insist, nothing good will come of it anyway. Better a loving stepfather than an indifferent father.